What kind of palm trees can I plant for privacy in Zone 9 California Desert?

I live in zone 9, very dry. We had a crazy winter 2 years ago causing my new neighbor to cut down their oleanders to our 5 ft fence height and now we can see everything each other does. So I decided it is time to put in my own shrubs. Anyway where can I get some affordable palms that are hardy to this dry area? Yes I can water. I don't want huge palms I actually like those skinny leaf palms with out the spikes, but don't know what they are called. Any suggesttions please?

What kind of palm trees can I plant for privacy in Zone 9 California Desert?
Better to put nice quality lemon, lime and orange plants in close proximity and trim them will serve your purpose as well you will have the best fruits for your good health and longevity, tree ripe is different then the store ripe and insecticide sprayed fruit
Reply:Thank you. Report It

Reply:oleanders are very rapid growing plants so they should be back to there original hight in like 2-3 years

Taxes

What's the best lowgrowing shrub that wont kill my dog if she eats it?

I have a chocolate lab that tries to eat everything new in the yard, and I want to landscape in spite of her. Oleanders, elephant ears, azaleas, berry-bearing hollys are all out. What else is there?

What's the best lowgrowing shrub that wont kill my dog if she eats it?
Since "Granny" is dissing everyone, it's interesting that she lists my resource!





This list is from a pet information site and a reliable source for safety. A list of "do not" plants that are poisonous will not cover plants that are not pet friendly. All of the plants on THIS list are not poisonous to pets! Check out my source at the bottom for more great info on pet friendly yards!!





A


Achira


Acorn squash


African violet


Algaroba


Aluminum plant


Alumroot


American rubber


Anthericum comosum


Antirrhinum multiflorum


Arabian gentian


Aregelia


Artillery plant


Aspidium falcatum


Aubepine


Autumn olive





B


Bachelors buttons


Ball fern


Bamboo


Bamboo palm


Bamboo vine


Banana


Banana squash


Begonia species


Belmore sentry palm


Big shellbark hickory


Bitter pecan


Bitternut


Black haw


Black hawthorn


Blaspheme vine


Bloodleaf


Blooming sally


Bluebottle


Blue bead


Blue daisy


Blue echeveria


Blue-*****


Blue-eyed daisy


Blunt leaf peperomia


Blushing bromeliad


Bold sword fern


Boston fern


Bottlebrush


Bottle Palm


Brazilian orchid


Bride's bonnet


Bristly greenbrier


Broom hickory


Brodiaea pulchella


Butterfly ginger


Butterfly iris


Bullbrier


Bur gourd


Burro's tail


Buttercup squash


Butterfly squash





C


Caeroba


Calathea insignis


Calthea lancifolia


California pitcher plant


Callistemon bradyandrus


Callistemon viminalis


Callistemon citrinus


Calochortus nuttalli


Camellia


Canada hemlock


Canary date palm


Candle plant


Candycorn plant


Canna lily


Cantebury-bell


Cape jasmine


Cape primrose


Carob


Carob tree


Caroba


Carobinha


Carolina hemlock


Carrion flower


Carrot flower


Carrot fern


Casaba melon


Cast Iron plant


Cat brier


Cat ear


Cattleya labiata


Celosia globosa


Celosia plumosa


Celosia spicata


Chamaedorean


Chaparral


Chenille plant


Chestnut


Chicken-gizzard


Chickens and hens


Chin-lao-shu


China aster


China root


Chinese plumbago


Chlorophytum


Chlorophytum bechetii


Chocolate soldier


Christmas dagger


Christmas palm


Christmas orchid


Cinnamon


Cinquefoil


Cirrhopetalum


Clearweed


Cliff brake


Cocks comb


Cocktail orchid


Collinia elegans


Color-band


Columnar


Common camellia


Common catbrier


Common garden canna


Common greenbrier


Common snapdragon


Common staghorn fern


Confederate jasmine


Coolwort


Copperlead


Copper rose


Coralardisia


Coral bells


Coralberry


Cornflower


Crape myrtle


Crataegus phaenopyrum


Crataegus spp.


Creeping charlie


Creeping gloxinia


Creeping mahonia


Creeping pilea


Creeping rubus


Creeping zinnia


Crepe myrtle


Crimson bottlebush


Crimson cup


Crisped feather fern


Crossandra


Cucumber


Cushon aloe


Cushion moss


Cyrtudeira reptans





D


Dainty


Dainty rabbits-foot fern


Dallas fern


Dancing doll orchid


Davallia bullata mariessi


Davallia trichomanoides


Desert trumpet


Dichelostemma


Dichorisandra reginae


Dinteranthus vanzylii


Duffii fern


Duffy fern


Dwarf date palm


Dwarf feather fern


Dwarf palm


Dwarf Rose-Stripe Star


Dwarf royal palm


Dwarf whitman fern





E


Earth star


Easter cattleya


Easter daisy


Easter lily cactus


Easter orchid


Edible banana


Elephant-Ear Begonia


Emerald ripple peperomia


English hawthorn


Epidendrum atropurpeum


Epidendrum ibaguense


Epidendrum


Episcia spp.





F


False aralia


Fairy fountain


Fan tufted palm


Feather fern


Feathered amaranth


Fiery reed orchid


Fig leaf gourd


Figleaf palm


Fingernail plant


Fire weed


Fish tail fern


Flame african violet


Flame of the woods


Flame violet


Florida butter-fly orchid


Fluffy ruffles


Forster sentry palm


Fortunes palm


Freckle face


Friendship plant


Frosty


G


Garden marigold


Garden snapdragon


German violet


Gherkins


Ghost leafless orchid


Ghost plant


Giant aster


Giant holly fern


Giant white inch plant


Gibasis geniculata


Globe thistle


Gloxinia


Gold bloom


Gold-fish plant


Golden bells


Golden lace orchid


Golden shower orchid


Good luck palm


Grape hyacinth


Grape Ivy


Great willow herb


Green ripple peperomia


Greenbrier





H


Hagbrier


Hardy baby tears


Hardy gloxinia


Haws


Haws apple


Haworthia


Hawthorn


Hedgehog gourd


Hellfetter


Hemlock tree


Hen and chickens fern


Hens and chickens


Hickory


Hindu rope plant


Holligold


Holly fern


Hollyhock


Honey locust


Honey plant


Honeydew melons


Honeysuckle fuchsia


Hookera pulchella


Horse brier


Hoya carnosa 'exotica'


Hoya carnosa 'krinkle'


Hoya carnosa 'variegata'


Hoya 'Mauna Loa'


Hubbard squash


Hypocyrta spp.





I


Ice plant


Imbricata sword fern


Irish moss


Iron cross begonia


Iron tree


Ivy peperomia


Ivy-leaf peperomia





J


Jackson brier


Jacob's ladder


Japanese aralia


Japanese holly fern


Japanese moss


Japanese pittosporum


Jasmine


Jewel orchid


Joseph's coat


Jungle geranium





K


Kaempferis


Kahali ginger


Kenilworth ivy


Kentia palm


Kenya palm


Kenya violet


Kharoub


King nut


King of the forest


King and queen fern


Kuang-yen- pa-hsieh





L


Lace flower vine


Lace orchid


Ladies ear drops


Lady lou


Lady palm


Lagerstroemia indica


Lance Pleumele


Large


Lady Palm


Laurel-leaved greenbrier


Leather peperomia


Leng-fen tu'an


Leopard lily


Leopard orchid


Lesser snapdragon


Lily of the valley orchid


Linden


Lipstick plant


Little zebra plant


Little fantasy peperomia


Living rock cactus


Living stones


Locust pods


Lou-lang-t'ou


Luther





M


Madagascar jasmine


Magnolia bush


Mahonia aquifolium


Malabar gourd


Malaysian dracaema


Manila palm


Mapleleaf begonia


Maranta


Marbled fingernail


Mariposa lily


Maroon


Mary-bud


Measles plant


Melons


Metallic peperomia


Metallic leaf begonia


Mexican firecracker


Mexican rosettes


Mexican snowballs


Miniature date palm


Minature fish tail


Minature maranta


Minature marble plant


Mistletoe cactus


Mockernut hickory


Mosaic plant


Mosiac vase


Moss agate


Moss campion


Moss fern


Moss phlox


Moss rose


Mossy campion


Mother fern


Mother spleenwort


Mother of pearl


Mountain camellia


Mountain grape


Mulberry bush greenbrier


Mulberry tree


Musa paradisiaca


Muscari armeniacum


Muscari spp.


Muskmellon





N


Narrow leafed pleomele


Natal plum


Neanthe bella palm


Nematanthus spp.


Neanthebella


Neoregelia


Nephrolepsis


Nerve plant


New silver and bronze


Night blooming cereus





O


Odontoglossum spp.


Old man cactus


Old world orchid


Orange star


Oregon grape


Ossifragi vase





P


Paddys wig


Painted lady


Palm lily


Pampus grass


Panamiga


Pansy orchid


Paradise palm


Parlor palm


Parlor plant


Parsley fern


Peace begonia


Peacock plant


Pearl plant


Pearly dots


Peperomia hederifolia


Peperomia peltifolia


Peperomia rotundifolia


Peperomia sandersii


Pepper face


Persian violet


Pheasant plant


Piggy back plant


Pigmy date palm


Pignut


Pignut hickory


Pilea microphylla


Pilea mucosa


Pink Brocade


Pink Pearl


Pink polka dot plant


Pink starlite


Pirliteiro


Pitaya


Plantanus orientalis


Plantanus occidentalis


Platinum peperomia


Platycerium alicicorne


Plumbago larpentiae


Plush plant


Polka dot plant


Polystichum falcatum


Pony tail


Porcelain flower


Pot marigold


Prairie lily


Prairie snowball


Prayer plant


Prickly bottlebrush


Prostrate coleus


Purple baby tears


Purple passion vine


Purple waffle plant


Purpleosier willow





Q


Queen's spiderwort


Queencup


Queens spiderwort


Queensland arrowroot





R


Rabbits foot fern


Rainbow orchid


Red african violet


Red berried greenbrier


Red edge peperomia


Red hawthorne


Red palm lily


Red veined prayer


Reed palm


Resurrection lily


Rex begonia


Rhynchophorum


Ribbon plant (Chlorophytum comosum)


Roosevelt fern


Royal velvet plant


Rubber plant, baby


Russian olive





S


Saffron spike zebra


Saint Bernards lily


Sand lily


Sand verbena


Satin pellionia


Sawbrier


Scabious


Scarborough lily


Scarlet orchid


Scarlet sage


Sego lily


Shagbark hickory


Shan ku'ei-lai


Shellbark hickory


Shiny leaf smilax


Shrimp cactus


Silver bell


Silver berry


Silver heart


Silver-leaf peperomia


Silver nerve plant


Silver pink vine


Silver star


Silver table fern


Silver tree anamiga


Slender deutzia


Small fruited hickory


Smilax tamnoides vas


Speckled wood lily


Spice orchid


Spider ivy


Spider plant


Spotted laurel


Squarenut


Squirrels foot fern


Star jasmine


Star lily


Star plant


Star tulip


Star window plant


Strawberry


Striped blushing


Sugar pods


Sulfur flower


Summer hyacinth


Swedish ivy


Sweetheart hoya


Sweetheart peperomia


Sweet william


Sword fern





T


Tahitian bridal veil


Tailed orchid


Tall feather fern


Tall mahonia


Teasel gourd


Texas sage


Thea japonica


Thimble cactus


Thorn apple


Ti hu-ling


Tiger orchid


Toad spotted cactus


Torch lily


Tous-les-mois


Trailing peperomia


Tree cactus


Tree gloxinia


Tropical moss


True cantalope


Tu fu-ling


Tulip poplar


Tulip tree


Turban squash


Turf lily





U


Umbrella plant


Urbinia agavoides


Usambara violet





V


Variegated laurel


Variegated oval leaf peperomia


Variegated philodendron leaf


Variegated wandering jew


Variegated wax plant


Velvet plant


Venus fly trap


Verona fern


Verona lace fern


Vining peperomia


Violet slipper gloxinia





W


Waffle plant


Walking anthericum


Washington hawthorn


Water hickory


Watermelon begonia


Watermelon peperomia


Watermelon pilea


Wax plant


Wax rosette


Weeping bottlebrush


Weeping sergeant hemlock


Weisdornbluten


West indian gherkin


Western sword


White ginger


White edged swedish ivy


White heart hickory


Whitman fern


Wild buckwheat


Wild buckwheat


Wild hyacinth


Wild lantana


Wild sarsaparilla


Wild strawberry


Willow herb


Windmill palm


Winter cattleya


Withered snapdragon


Woolflower





Y


Yellow bloodleaf


Yellow-flowered gourd


Yerba linda





Z


Zebra haworthia


Zebra plant


Zinnia sp.


Zucchini squash


Check out my source for more info on dog friendly yards:
Reply:It will probably be easier to read the list of what NOT to plant and then go from there.


ASPCA


Animal Poison Control Center


Toxic PlantsThis list contains plants that have been reported as having systemic effects on animals and/or intense effects on the gastrointestinal tract.


http://www.aspca.org/site/PageServer?pag...


***************NOTE**************


Non Poisonous Plants for Dogs and Cats


http://www.petfriendlyhouse.com/informat...


Don't take the advice of any of the experts in this category in Yahoo! Answers sometimes they just put an answer.





Follow the directions of the real experts above.
Reply:Try something hardy and WOODY. Also, don't let your dog outside too much. Get it to a park. Grass plants can't hurt either.
Reply:boxwood and is easily shaped

Survey: Bailing wire and duct tape or protractor and contractor?

Bailing wire and duct tape or protractor and contractor


NASCAR or Formula One


Exotic Palms or Oleanders


Roses or Lillis


Ice road truckers and Deadliest Catch or House and Bones


BBQ Ribs or Duck Ala Ronge


Skate boards or Mopeds


Laptop or Desktop


Apple or Dell or Sony


Freestyle or Precise


Read directions or don't usually need them


Hot dogs and hamburgers or Thai, Italian and Mexican food


Very clean house or looks lived in


White walls or full of color


The big chair of the couch


Nickelback or Beatles

Survey: Bailing wire and duct tape or protractor and contractor?
anything with duct tape


nascar


oleanders


roses


deadliest catch


ribs


mopeds


laptop


dell


precise


don't need them


dogs and burgers


lived in


white with lots of stuff on them


big ol soft couch


beatles
Reply:Protractor and contractor


Formula One


Oleander


Roses


House and Bones


Duck Ala Ronge


Mopeds


Laptop with a docking port, full size monitor, and ergonomic keyboard for when I'm home.


Dell


Freestyle


Read directions


Hamburgers and Italian and Mexican food...sorry, you can keep the hot dogs and Thai food.


Very clean house as long as I don't have to clean it.


Full Color


The big chair


Beatles
Reply:bailing wire and duct tape


NASCAR


exotic palms


lillis


House and bones


BBQ Ribs... definately


skateboards


laptop


dell


freestyle


don't read directions... just wing it


Thai, ITALIAN, and mexican food... i LOVE Italian food


looks lived in ... unless you wanna clean it for me :)


COLOR!!!!! ...white is tooo boring


The big chair ... mine is actually quite comfy( squishy leather)


Nickelback ... but the Beatles are good too...
Reply:Bailing wire and duct tape or protractor and contractor...contractor


NASCAR or Formula One... f/o


Exotic Palms or Oleanders... oleanders


Roses or Lillis.... roses


Ice road truckers and Deadliest Catch or House and Bones....House no bones


BBQ Ribs or Duck Ala Ronge...... BBQ


Skate boards or Mopeds .... boards


Laptop or Desktop.... desk


Apple or Dell or Sony.... Sony


Freestyle or Precise.... precise


Read directions or don't usually need them..... read, eventually


Hot dogs and hamburgers or Thai, Italian and Mexican food ....Mexican


Very clean house or looks lived in.... lived in


White walls or full of color.... white


The big chair of the couch ..... big chair


Nickelback or Beatles.... Beatles
Reply:1) Protrator and contractor, hopefully hot looking.


2) Nascar


3) Exotic Palms


4)Roses


5) House and Bones


6) BBq Ribs


7) Moped


8) Desktop


9) Dell


10) Freestyle


11) Thai, Italian, and Mexican


12) Looks lived in


13) Different colors, soothing


14) The couch


15) Beatles


LMAO
Reply:Bailing wire and duct tape


NASCAR


Exotic Palms


Roses


House and Bones


BBQ Ribs


Mopeds


Laptop


Dell


Precise


Read directions (I read, hubby THINKS he doesn't need them) - must be why we stay lost in a new city


Hot dogs and hamburgers


looks lived in


full of color


The big chair


Beatles
Reply:Answers to questions:





Bailing wire and duct tape


NASCAR


Exotic Palms


Neither - Mimosa and Honeysuckle!


House and Bones


BBQ Ribs


Mopeds


Desktop


Neither - HP


Freestyle


don't usually need them


Hot dogs and hamburgers


looks lived in


full of color


The big chair


Beatles
Reply:Protractor and contractor


Formula One


Oleanders (have a bunch in the yard)


Roses


House %26amp; Bones


BBQ Ribs


Mopeds


Desktop


Dell


Freestyle


Don't read directions unless desperate


Hot dogs and hamburgers


Looks lived in


White walls


Big chair


Nickelback
Reply:I stopped after graduating from college to become a teacher. So, I'll accept bailing wire and duct tape any day
Reply:1


2


2


1


1


1


2


1


2


2


2


1


2


1


2


1


2


1


1


2


jane
Reply:1


2


2


2


1


1


1


2


1


2


1


1


2


2


2


2
Reply:1


2


2


1


2


1


1


1


2


2


1


2


1


2


2


1

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME/COLOGNE???? I just bought Azuree Soleil tonight and it smells great.....yours?

I just bought some new perfumes.... one of them is azuree soleil it kind of smelles like oleanders......its made by estee lauder. Other perfumes I bought were britney spears newest...2007 addition, (which I am going to take back.....it seems to smell different on paper than on me) and "diamonds" by giorgio armani...a very light fragrance. So have any of you people tried these fragrances???





If NOT......What is your favorite PERFUME??? or COLOGNE??? :)








My all time favorite is "HOT COUTURE" by Givenche :P








Thanks !!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME/COLOGNE???? I just bought Azuree Soleil tonight and it smells great.....yours?
Mine are (in order of preference)


1. Givenche Organza Indecence (discontinued but I stocked up)


2. Jean Paul Gaultier Classique


3. Burberry Brit


4. Giorgio Armani Sensi
Reply:i love 'catsuit'





its cheap but it smells really really lovely
Reply:lacoste red cologne
Reply:i like sweet p from the mall. god, that stuff smells absolutely amazing!!!
Reply:i just bought the new marc jacobs "daisy" perfume. it smells so good!
Reply:davidoff collection
Reply:Armani Mania
Reply:I don't really have an expensive taste when it comes to perfume, but I do love a really nice fragrance. My favorite is white cherry blossom from Bath and Body. If you have not smelled it, you need to. I love it. I always get compliments on how good I smell. I get even more when people find out the price.
Reply:Chance by Channel!
Reply:red by gorgio
Reply:L'Eau d'Issey by Issey Miyake

Build over existing retaining wall?

We have a cinder block wall about 50 feet long by 3-4 feet high as a retainer. The wall has been leaning forward for several years. We talked to our landscape person and he said he could put a river rock retainer with concrete over the existing cinder block wall to hold the old wall in place and give it some opposing resistance. The river rock retainer will also be dug down 1 or 1 1/2 feet with under the ground foundation. We went to his house and he showed that he did it with his old cinder block wall and it looks incredible. In your opinion, do you think that this is okay to do. Is there anything we should make sure of before we do this? We dont want to spend 20K ripping the old one out when we could just retain this one with the new river rock wall. Also, the wall had a bunch of oleanders on it and other trees which we are having taken out as we speak.

Build over existing retaining wall?
My Grandfather with my brothers help built over a retaining wall. At the base they made it about 3 feet thick then tapered it thinner as it went up. We live in Earthquake prone California. The building inspector said it would take a quake large enough to level the entire town before that wall could ever sustain damage.
Reply:The wall was built in 1965-in San Fernando, CA. and was not damaged in the 1971 earthquake centered in Sylmar (2 miles away) or the 1994 Northridge quake. It is still doing the job with no damage to this date. Report It

Reply:sounds like he know what he's doing.
Reply:I believe that this could be done and have a fine result. You just make certain that your contractor is licensed and insured.

boots

Ground cover ideas needed?

We just got done remodleing our pool area which involved hauling out a lot of river rock and getting rid of small palms around the pool to open it up. Now all we have is dirt.





My hubby doesn't want grass, too much maintenance. No fake grass, it's too expensive %26amp; the oleanders shedding would be messy. No gravel b/c it will hurt your feet barefoot.





He wants decomposed gravel - but I do not b/c it will still get muddy if it rains.





Any ideas out there?

Ground cover ideas needed?
Try about 4"- 6" of premium cypris mulch over a ground facric. Create a meandering pathway to the pool using cobblestones. The cobblestoned would actually be good for barefooting on because in many parts of the world, reflexology paths and “barefoot parks” are becoming very popular because they offer feet a chance to experience varieties of textured surfaces. In addition to biomechanical advantages of regular barefoot exercising, many holistic health practitioners believe the tactile stimulation underfoot while walking barefoot on natural surfaces has positive effects on body, mind and spirit.
Reply:Mexican heather is a great ground covering and grows hearty with very little care..spreads nice and are small plants with tons of little purple/pinkish flowers on it..alot of malls use these for thier landscaping..


http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/arans...





http://www.bonnieplants.com/Default.aspx...
Reply:carpet of snow ground cover


stays close to the ground like ivy and has thousand of flowers


comes in white,pink and red


chokes out weeds and grows fast [Ohio]
Reply:I love my bugelweed (ajuga reptans)...it's hardy....comes back each year...has great color....and grows without much maintenance!





This year I got Lamium Maculatum in Beacon Silver....ooooh, it's very pretty and needs little care also...





They both bloom in purple and are perenials...
Reply:If you were to put down some landscaping fabric around the pool than take some bags of leveling sand poured out over the fabric. The out come will be that the sand shouldn't wash away if you boarder it, you'll have no weeds and your feet won't hurt. Maintence free
Reply:These are the ground covers on my property. I live in Zone 7.





1. Vinca. I have periwinkle vinca. http://www.forde-nursery.com/images/pere... http://tncweeds.ucdavis.edu/esadocs/vinc... varieties ike sun, some like shade.





2. Monkey grass, mondo grass, liriope (call it what you want!). Many different colors, sizes, sun/shade. http://www.hsv-life.com/house/landscape/... Can be planted thinly or thickly. I interperse mine with small boulders for more interest.





3. Ajuga. Shade plant, so may not be suitable. Spreads rapidly. http://www.evergreennurseryinc.net/plant... http://www.danielleblog.com/archives/aju...





In addition, the following website is an excellent source for ground covers: http://pubs.caes.uga.edu/caespubs/pubcd/...
Reply:I really like Mondo grass (Ophiopogon species). It can get expensive in large plantings, but you never have to cut it. You didn't say how much sun you have or how much foot traffic the area will take. Mondo is tolerant of foot traffic once it is established. Other ground covers are pachysandra, liriope, ajuga, and vinca minor. These aren't as good for traffic areas.
Reply:You can do a outdoor tile all around it.

Drug addict/eating disordered friend?

I've known this girl for a few years and we haven't talked much in the past few years because of a very complicated sitution but she does every type of drug except meth and has been in and out of rehab two times for an eating disorder and ate white oleanders to get out one of the seven times





she just doesn't have a reason to live and i wish i could give her one but life pretty much sucks especially for her, she had it pretty rough growing up, no longer has a college fund because of rehab and has failed ninth grade a few times because of absences anyway





but im talking to her and i suppose just giving her a semi-good influence helps but i would like some imput in what advice i could give her in getting clean, obviously normal programs don't help, shes been on methadone and lithium and just uses them as a supplement to her habits


what can i say to help her? why shouldn't she stay on them honestly? when you think about it. she doesn't care if she dies and can't handle pain

Drug addict/eating disordered friend?
I wish there was a good answer for your question. I wish there was some magical thing you could say to someone you love and they would quit hurting themselves. Just continue to be her friend and let her know you are their for her if and when she chooses to get help. My sister was a cocaine and heroin addict she died last year from an overdose of cocaine before she died she was in and out of rehabs at one point (when she was sober) she wrote a poem about her addiction. It is a really good poem it is posted on her website http://www.ken.malott.com/bridget/bridge... . You can try showing her this website and this poem if you want.My sister was also bipolar and used street drugs to self medicate. ufourtantley if your friend doesn't stop she will end up dead. Good Luck. I know first hand how hard it is to watch someone you love kill themselves.
Reply:unfortunately drug addiction and recovery is really a lonesome disease, no one can really pull you up but you. Make sure she has access to people who have dealt with addiction themselves and just be there as a friend when she needs one. If you get too deeply involved with her recovery and she slips she will take you down a bit too.
Reply:You can't change people. It is her life and her choices.
Reply:I think that all you can do is be there for her. It's hard to understand a person's motivations for the way they live, and there is no textbook answer because every person is unique. You maybe could find a group like Codependent Anonymous, or al-anon that could give you a little bit of insight. Also, try your local county mental health unit. They may have a counselor that can steer you in the right direction.


What you have to remember is this-In your head, you are being a good influence, but maybe not in hers. I've been in similar situations (both sides of it) and sometimes the stability that you offer actually enables this kind of lifestyle. I did some stupid things when I was young, and I used people that thought they were being my friends by trying to be a good influence. Now that I've grown up, I can see what was going on, and see when somebody is using me for a place to stay, or a meal, or somewhere to go hide for a while. I kindly but firmly let these people know that I am here for them, but won't be taken advantage of.


I am glad that you are trying to help your friend, but it is a rocky path that you are on, so please get professional advice.
Reply:Yeah! I two did the drug thing but you know what? YOUR FRIEND WILL NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER FIND HAPPINESS AND RELEASE FOR PAIN THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!


I found that I did the drug thing and the next day and the many days and months after that I realized that my problems in life WHERE STILL THERE!? I would first suggest to you to tell your friend to be truthful about her situation and find a drug de-tox place somewhere in your own town. She is going to find that this is pure hell but, after de-tox she is going to find it makes a big difference! Second, Know she probably feels her Life doesn't have a purpose probably because of some of the problems she has in countered in her past! I believe after she goes thou de-tox it would be important to ask her if she would be willing to see a priest or a christian counselor about her painful past. I think that she needs to start forgiving all of the people that have hurt her and renounce them in Jesus name! A priest or some Church's even have christian counselors that would be able to assist you and her. You would make the calls to some of the Church's in your area to see if they offer christian counseling services. But first she has to work herself off the drugs and only then if she is honest about all the people that hurt her and wants to release her pain from her past only then would I call some of the Church's. I tell you what progress will she make by just stays in her house or other peoples houses, feeling sorry for herself and getting high!? Ask her does she want a REAL HIGH!? Then I challenge her to get HIGH ON THE HOLY SPIRIT OF JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! I challenge her to make something out of her life and be a role model to someone!First before I say anything more I would like to recommend two books to you for her for finding purpose in your life! (After of course she decides drugs aren't the best way to live and she chooses to make something out of her life.) I recommend reading: 1. The Purpose Driven Life. by Rick Warren 2002 and 2. Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen 2004. Yes! I have been though depression and drugs! She got to understand there is no easy way out even if she decides to end her life. I also believe the reason she feels so depressed and she needs drugs is because her heart is feeling that something is missing. I believe that something is the love of God and Jesus Christ! The Bible says that you were created to have a fellowship with God, and to have Him at the center of your life, NOT DRUGS!. Did your friend know God loves her and values her! "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son Jesus, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."(John 3:16)Know apart from Jesus Christ, the Bible tells us, we are "harassed and helpless, like sheep with out a shepherd" (Matt 9:36). But God loves us, and one reason he has allowed her to have this feeling of emptiness in her heart is that He loves her and wants her to seek him and have a relationship with him. No matter how hard we try or what means we use--material possessions, money, pleasure, drugs, or whatever--the emptiness is still there. The thing is that if you let your emptiness go this leads into depression AND MORE DRUG USE! How do I know this? Because I have dealt with that empty feeling, life with no purpose or meaning and eventually depression and drugs. The three things that really turned my life around was: 1. Knowing that God and Jesus Loved me and I was valued! 2. Knowing I had people on my side at church, in my social life and in my family that cared about me! and 3. I had to get myself out of the atmosphere that I was in! When you put yourself in line with what God has for you, then you will see yourself back with a renewed joy! That also means changing the atmosphere were she buys her drugs and where she uses her drugs! I would not be telling her this if I had not experienced what she feels for myself! Know down inside her, she is really looking for love and happiness but she will never find it the way she is living right now. God created her, and God loves her. His only Son, Jesus Christ, loved her so much that he gave His life on the cross so she could be saved and break free from in perfectness, sin and this empty feeling to become a child of God. When you accept Jesus Christ into your life, something wonderful and supernatural happens. God Himself comes to dwell within you! You become part of His family, and you can know the joy of His presence every day. The Bible says: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). She may ask "where was God in the my bad times in my life!". I tell you He was there! The fact of the matter is that we all make bad choices in life, or others make bad choices in life! But the thing is that we don't have to live like that for the future! As a christian I know that Church is a excellent place to meet people that might of once felt the way your friend does now with no purpose and they might tell her how they now live for Jesus and how they have found that purpose like me. Not only at church service but a lot of church's have activities like support groups, single events and small groups like bible study! Not only will she be meeting new people and developing relationships with them, she will be also be developing a relationship with God and Jesus by learning what the word of God (the Bible) has to offer her in her life. The fact of the matter is she needs to put herself in a new atmosphere with de-tox,forgiveness and by building a personal relationship with God! I battled though depression and drugs! So, I felt like life was just one, big black, end less, tunnel that I felt so alone and that no one valued me and my only release from anxiety was drugs! Which is not true! I later found out that I was valued! I was valued by Jesus because he gave his life on the cross for me! and in essence I was carrying my own cross and Jesus said "let me carry that for a while and you put your faith in me and I will bring you hope for the future and a future partner!" You know what? He did! Now am happily married to the woman of my dreams! I will be praying for you and your friend! I would encourage you if you know Jesus to pray for your friend that she may come to realize that she doesn't want to live life like this! I pray that one day she might find happiness and love in a purpose filled life in Jesus! May God Bless you and your friend! In Jesus Name Amen
Reply:Maybe your friend should be checked for a bipolar disorder or tested for depression. If this is part of the problem, they can put her on meds to help. There is also a drug that can be given to her to help her so she can't get high off of certain drugs.
Reply:You are very much describing a person I know, a drug addict girl. Did constantly pretty much every single drug except heroin n meth. Cocaine + pills was daily used, weighed 85 pounds... in and out of rehab and mental institututions her whole life... She died 3 weeks ago of an overdose. She took oxycotton and cocaine (in huge amounts btw, she would pretty much snort 1 gram just in one line), and this time she died.


I believe that sometimes you just can't change people like that.
Reply:if you are still young, harm reduction should not be an option. She can recover with some intensive treatment and support from very good friends like you. You could try to help her uncover any past issue that cintribute to drug abuse.
Reply:wow. im sooo sorry to hear about your friend. i honestly dont know the answer to your question and i dont think anyone else will on this site.. all i can say is ill pray for u and her.





honestly. shes the only person who can help herself now.. just be there along the way.. kinda like a shoulder to cry on. but if u ever feel too stressed over her problems take a few minute breather and just continue. its basically all u can do.
Reply:tell her how much you care about her and how stubburn it would be to continue her habbits.